I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
