I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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