The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
