i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
