i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just took my morning after pill in the library
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
