you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
