There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
