how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
