He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
