I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
