There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
