The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
