Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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