Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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