she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
