The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone came in the potted fern
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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