i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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