2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
