Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
