i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
PANTIES FOUND
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