That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
