You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
