I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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