Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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