All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
