He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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