I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
