I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
