so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
