Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
