she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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