Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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