That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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