Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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