After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
