Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
