I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
