i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
