...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
