It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
