I must be too annoying 4 u.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
