we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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