i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
