I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
