Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
