My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
