So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
