Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
