dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
