Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
