I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
