That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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