ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
