Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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