We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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